NINJA TURTLES, MONEY ON TREES & DON’T YOU HEAR ME TALKING..
NINJA TURTLES, MONEY ON TREES & DON’T YOU HEAR ME TALKING.
August 3, 2014
So this is my 11 year old Isayah and let me tell you if anyone knows how to talk it is him. So he has this thing where he just has to talk no matter what is going on I can be on the phone, I can be talking to someone hell I can be sleep and this boy will have a serious conversation well let me take that back an off the wall conversation. ( WELL TALK MORE ON THAT LATER)
Let’s take tonight I was talking to my daughter who had just gotten her hair done and was getting ready to get in the shower and for some reason thinks money comes from trees. No she really thinks money comes from trees she told me that if paper comes from trees and money is made out of paper then why are we not rich.
I just had to stop for a second and gather my thoughts okay continue. With all the trees we have in our back yard we could be billionaires and when I went to ask her where she learned this from she puts up her hands and says ugh never mind I guess some people are just to lazy to get up and make the money. Put on her shower cap and walks out the door. Now if it did’t take the act of God to hold me back and not get up and grab her by her hair that I just paid to get done. Lord Help me.
But I am left speechless and confused again.
But anyway back to this little one so she really doesn’t care if her hair gets wet or not. Because evidently money grows on trees and all i have to do is get off my lazy butt go outside and cut a tree she is such a genius I wish I would have thought of this sooner then maybe I could have quit my job earlier and ended world hunger.
So anyway I was telling her that before she got into the shower she needed to put a shower cap on her head. Now imagine that you are talking to someone and in your ear you keep hearing momma, mom have you ever seen a real ninja turtle. ( me thinking to myself on Lord here we go again.) Hey momma What if you can meet Micheal Angelo are you listening wouldn’t that be cool. I know I would sure like to meet them. I wish that i could fight like him, whoosh, whoosh, pow, pow bang hoo ahh. Come on momma momma Who would you want to be mom how about master splinter he’s ugly but I tell you what he sure can fight.
Wait, what, stop, hold on is he really serious right now? So you are saying that I am ugly. And honestly that is the only thing to me that stuck out at that moment. really mom is that all you heard is that you think you are ugly I never said you were ugly but if you feel your not pretty then I guess that is something we will have to work on.
Hold on wait a minute I never said I was ugly you said I was master splinter and he was ugly so I asked if you thought I was ugly. Oh no mom I heard you say you were ugly and I am going to help you fix that.
You know what Isayah can’t your see I am talking to your sister about her hair and you are really asking me about Ninja Turtles and telling me that I am ugly Can’t you see me talking.
Yea mom I see you talking but Ilaysia hair is not as cool as being one of the Ninja Turtles and I understand you have issues about being ugly and I am here for you when ever you are ready to deal with your self esteem issues you know we talked about that last year in school so I am pretty much and expert on it. So think about it mom he then get’s out the bed throws his hands up and yells Ninja Turtles rock. I am so puzzled, confused, ugly and apparent I have low self esteem well who knew.
This gallery contains 51 photos.
Precious moments are almost always lost in time but it is up to us to find ways to capture those moments so they can be cherished for a lifetime. One thing that I love the most is taking pictures of my kids and my family. The moments that I love the most are not the […]
This gallery contains 1 photo.
Isayah as you all know is my 8 year old son well today while doing his homework he asks me mom what does negative mean when you’re reading temperature. Now granted I just finished eating and I am trying my best not to throw my food back up because it seems as if my unborn […]
Ok so this is my son Isayah on a recent family trip we took. Now I have managed to watch this child talk his-self into cleaning his own room, talk his-self out of playing and I think he has more split personalities than I do because on numerous occasions I have caught him having a full blown conversation with himself. OMG I have passed on my multiple personalities to my son. Those bitches knew what they were doing. If I wasn’t almost five months pregnant I swear those bitches would turn me into a lush again. So on our family trip crabbing. I caught my son once again talking to his-self, by himself with all of his personalities.
Isayah: Man I wish I can catch a crab like my big brother K’eric
Isayah (the Great): in his superhero voice- don’t be afraid for I am here to save the day, you want to catch that crab you just have to believe in yourself and with a little help I’ll show you how.
Isayah: Man really!!!!! Oh wow that would be so awesome! Totally you would do that for me.
Really my child talks like this. Well yeah it is Isayah. DAMN I really need a drink.
Isayah (the not so cool kid) Dude I don’t know why you trying to catch these crabs out here it’s hot I’m hungry mom and dad still hadn’t put the meat on the BBQ grill yet and we are sitting here watching a line in the water with a piece of meat on it that could have been eaten. You guys really suck wasting food like that.
Isayah: Man leave me alone I know I am going to catch this crab. I can, I can, I know I can, I can do anything that I want to do. (Thanks mom for the I can speech now I have to hear this damn near every day you rock) You are not going to be my weakness not so cool kid. (Wow really what the hell) I will defeat you with the help of my super friends. Isayah the great, Isayah the awesome to the IKE cave (ok IKE is his nickname thanks again mom your so freakin awesome)
Me: Isayah baby who are you talking to no one mom, I’m just singing a song wow really that’s one hell of a song ok baby just be careful by the water (mumbling under my breath you and all your super friends)
Isayah (the awesome) damn it man you almost gave away our secret identities you have to be more careful. Man be more careful.
Me: Wait did he just say damn it ok I really need a stiff one.
Isayah: We are not allowed to say the D-Word or any other bad word you’re going to get me in trouble so I think I am going to go for now I will call you guys later.
Me: why don’t you just text them don’t you think it’s more secretive. Just saying at least we won’t hear you talking to them.
Isayah: ok I have to go by super friends go and save the world oh P.S if K’eric catches another crab on his line just use your super hero powers to put it on my line. He will never know what hit him that would be so freaking awesome Yes it would.
Super friends: will do buddy, will do we got your back.
Isayah: Ok mom has that weird look on her face again like she knows I’m hiding something so I really have to go guys. MOM is the food done yet I’m tired of singing over here and it doesn’t look I’m going to catch anything soon.
Me: Blank stare, puzzled and all I can say is yes hunnie go ahead and fix your food. Oh by the way how many people will you be needing food for again baby.
Isayah: mom what are you talking about, Daddddd did mom take her medicine today I think she’s seeing things again. She’s asking me about those people. You know the ones she thinks she sees but their really not there.
Edward: Enola did you forget your medication
Me: Ummmmmh What the fuck now how in the hell did the roles reverse and turn on me. Yes hunnie I did but I really think we need to get Isayah checked out.
Isayah: Mom come here I know you need a hug it’s been a long day and it’s hot, he looks up and whispers and had the nerves to point his finger and say don’t make me get the super friends out here they will silence you, they will.
Me: Wow okkkkkk so who’s hungry don’t want the justice league to show up and kick my butt
Isayah: no mom it’s just the super friends, super friends is what they go by.
Damn it’s going to be a long day I better watch my back. Fucking super heroes always have to ruin my damn day.
So last night after playing bed tag with Edward meaning when I turn he turns and when he turns I turn which is the weirdest shit ever because when he turns we both just roll over and turn in the opposite position and then he hugs me. But When I turn I always seem to have to tap him twice on the stomach or back like we are a tag team duo fighting in the WWF guess that’s where I came up with the name bed tag. It’s rather funny when you think about it but guess that’s one situation where you have to be there to see the humor in it. Well if you have been following my blog you will realize by now that I suffer from insomnia along with other disorders.
Last night for some damn reason I couldn’t sleep, as if this was something new. I was running a marathon in my mind and for some reason I was wining now the reason this is so weird is that I am almost five months pregnant and I am running faster than the speed of light well as least that’s what I thought. But it seems that I was racing turtles and snails normally I dream about unicorns and fluffy panda bears sitting down eating an conversation with me but go figure only I would dream of some crazy shit like that. The crazy part about it all is that I really wasn’t dreaming. But while I was getting my ass beat by Uncle Turtle and his friend Gary the snail. I started thinking about all the shit Edwards baby momma was putting us through, not only that but the shit my mother was doing to us also I will tell you about that in another post. I slowly got up crossed my legs in the bed and started rocking back and forth. I was talking to myself about all the shit I was going to do to these motherfuckers.
Me: I don’t understand why is all of this happening to me
Alter ego 1 ( Nikki): Bitch snap out of this pity party we about to fuck some shit up they don’t know who they messing with what’s wrong with you we ain’t scare shut that noise up and let’s do this.
Alter ego 2 ( Tammy) Look we need to come up with a plan ya’ll tripping ya’ll just ready to start tearing shit up and about to get us all caught lets just talk about the shit first.
Me: How about both of ya’ll shut up and let me go back to sleep.
Nikki: Tammy you see this bitch she talking about sleeping while her mother is steady trying to take her kids from her and Edwards baby momma Is steady trying to take both their ass to the bank in child support and still won’t let them spend time with the kids
Edward: Bae what the fuck are you doing and who the hell are you talking to.
Me: No body go back to sleep
Edward: well shit I’m trying but you over there rocking back and forth having a conversation with yourself looking like you belong in a fucking mental institute.
Nikki: Bitch who the hell are you talking to if she wants to talk to us then back the hell up and go to sleep.
Tammy: Man look when he wakes up to use the bathroom just stick your foot out and trip his ass that will teach him to mess with us while we are having a in depth conversation.
Edward: who the hell is us, Enola Henderson go your pregnant ass to sleep I have to get up in the morning and you and your crazy ass friends making all that damn noise.
Tammy: Enola is not here right now Edward this is tammy so what the hell you keep bothering us for.
Me: Bae I think they need to up my meds for real I am having trouble sleeping at night
Edward: You think, I mean wow I don’t know what else to say who the hell am I talking to
Me: It’s me your wife who else would you be talking to but anyway silly I think I want something from Ihop
Edward: what the fuck man are you serious first you and your crazy ass alter ego’s wake me up and now your asking for Ihop which one of these crazy ass women am I going get this for.
Me: Ummmmmh I think me yeah it’s more for the baby, he’s asking for it
Edward: some more shit now the baby telling you that it wants Ihop get the fuck out of here.
Me: I’m just saying I’m hungry and that’s what the baby said it wants.
Edward: alright man, Bae where are the keys to the truck
Tammy and Nikki: Bitch you better not say anything or else
Me: I don’t know
Edward: what the hell I hung them up when I came home.
Me: I don’t know baby I haven’t been any where all day ( I am so laughing on the inside cause it’s really funny to see him searching all over and he looks so confused.)
So about an hour and a half later…………
Me: oh baby here they are they were underneath my pillow
Edward: How the hell did they get underneath your pillow Enola without you knowing it
Me: Edward how in the hell am I supposed to know I don’t drive your truck and I have been sitting in the bed this whole time.
Edward: Fuck this I’m going back to sleep I don’t have time to play with you and your crazy ass friends
Me: what about my Ihop
Edward: Tell your crazy as friends to go and get the shit for you.
Me: Now see what ya’ll did.
Nikki: that’s what he gets for butting into our business
Tammy: fucking right
Me: taking a deep breath all I wanted was some pancakes and sleep but guess I won’t be getting either back to bed tag it is.
Edward: don’t fucking touch me damn it I still mad at all of ya’ll
Wow it so sucks having multiple personalities just saying they ruin everything. Fucking Bitches
Today will probably be the first day of many that I write about the mother of my Husbands kids. KL is what we will call her. What makes a mother, who determines what and who a great mother is? Why is CPS (CHILD PROTECTION SERVICE) here if it doesn’t really favor the children? These are […]
WHEN YOU FINALLY REALIZE YOUR FEARS, AND TAKE THEM HEAD ON
January 25, 2012
It’s been a while since you and I last talked, the stranger in the night, the shadow who lurks among the dark alleys looking for innocent victims to prey on. It is your nature by far to take away the very thing that gives Humans like me a reason to live. A reason to go on, a reason to push, a need to survive, a need to desire the breath of air, for without it I know I cannot survive, but yet I haven’t had the self-determination or strength to will myself to breath. A desire I so longed for to once again breathe freely without you watching over my every move, planting your seeds of self-doubt and failures in my ear, reaching over my shoulder and pulling back from the one thing I yearn the most to live. So you see I know you very well because you have become a major part of me. You’re in my home, in my soul; you’re in the very person I love and hold near to my heart matter fact you’re in him the most. I have known you’ve been in my life for a while but never really paid attention because the essence of your very existence was a thing of the past. I conquered you once in my life but yet here you stand with a grip so tight that even if I had my own superman you would be his kryptonite. There is no saving me is there. It never really dawned on me until today that you came back with vengeance and crept back in my life the day I meet my husband and you’ve had a hold on me ever since. I felt you’re vice grips clamping down on my neck slowly but silently cutting off the very thing I need to live. And as time went on I could feel myself slipping into a deep depression but no matter how hard I fought I could never break away, my internal organs begin to shut down one, by one cutting off the air supply shutting my body down limp, by limp until it got to my heart, now I no longer feel remorse for the things I do, the person who use to cry at the drop of a dime has become a living zombie unable to feel, I am numb to the world and don’t know how I got here. I am able to motive anyone who crosses my path, but no longer can I motivate myself because of the lack of self-preservation. All I asked was for someone to believe in me without any doubts (unconditional belief and love without judging me and with full support) but I haven’t found that in my life. What I have is you telling me you believe only to come back and shut me down, you beat me, you cut off my air supply, you verbally abuse me now all that I can take up until the verbal abuse start but then you tear at me like hungry sharks in blood infested water. Ripping me apart limb, by limb ohhhh the agony, and the pain there’s nothing I can do as I cry out floating in pool of my own blood filled with self-doubt, low self-esteem, a picture of darkness and sadness but I realize this is not a dream. I have lost all of my friends as I cry out for them no one is around because I cut them so deep choosing to be here with you, no one likes who I’ve become since I let you back in, my family, my friends, they all hate you and pray that I’m strong enough to cut my ties with you, but you have pierced my skin with a grip I can’t not release. Oh God, my God is there any help for me, make me stronger, make me wiser give me the strength to walk away from the evil that hides inside of me keeping me from living a free and abundant life. I am so tired and filled with pain there is no one here for me I have pushed them all away. You can never understand the pain that I feel, when your mind is so closed to even the newest Idea of hope that’s standing right in front of your face, I want my old life back, the one where I smiled every day. I may have been shy and let certain people run over me, but I knew who I was and was on the path of finding me. Now I’m lost in translation speaking a language not even I understand, a language so foreign it’s not of this land. I know that I can’t fault your my deep and dark friend, because it was I who let you in and let you stay knowing I’ve defeated you before, but this time you had a secret weapon and the day I let him walk through my door I lost a big part of me. But today my friend I am here to tell you I am taking my life back one day at a time starting with how I feel about myself. I don’t need you to tell me who I am, nor do I need your support because guess what I realized today that I am enough, only me just little old me. So if you won’t support me in my dreams and ambitions then step aside because I don’t need fake support only what’s real that truly comes from the inside. Today I can tell you that the shadow has risen from the flame, I’m taking me back and I won’t let you or anyone stand in my way. As I take a deep breath I can feel life inside of me slowly regenerating all my vital organs, life that was once dead is now coming back to life. It’s crazy how the simplest spark, simplest idea can turn your life around. Learn from my mistakes as you follow me on my journey never let anything or anyone stand in your way, and your walk with God cause when you do you will find yourself in a deep dark place like I was, I know it’s going to take time to undo the damage I cause but I am taking it one day at time and you should to.
OUT OF THE DARKNESS, INTO THE LIGHT
January 13, 2012
Look at me and tell me what you see as I struggle to stare at myself in the mirror, demons surrounding my every thought, slowing adjoining to my very soul invading the solitude ofmy very existence, as I fight to survive the inevitable I’m doomed as the last tear of sorrow plummets to its death, leaving behind an emotionless hollowed out shell I once called my body. Giving myself the impression of being here full of life and unimaginable bliss, knowing deep inside my soul has been slowly scratched from my body leaving traces of deep piercings in my flesh. I’m crying out from the inside, but it seems the demons have taken over me, you may think you know me but you have no Idea there’s a darkness deep inside of me I fear, I’m not who you think I am, who I am I don’t even know, with the cards stacked against me I’ve believe I’ve formed my own house of usher it’s been so long since I’ve seen a reflection of who I once was, falling prey to the darkness I feel my life is now dull, dark, and soundless, gloomy and mysterious I hold secrets the world should never know. Absorbed by an evil unknown I feel as if I’m decaying from the inside out disintegrating, I’ve loss all control of myself my actions are not my own. I have been taken over by a force not even I can break away from.
I feel as if the world has turned against me but it’s just the mischievous fiend playing off my uncontrollable thoughts, unimaginable visions play through my head like a flick from a horror movie, I close my eyes and count to three hoping these vivid yet realistic thoughts would just depart from my very mind. Leave me evil spirits pull out from my very soul, be gone, from me I can’t take no more. A once lost tear flows from eyes someone notices it and ask me why, but fearful of shame and judgment I turn away and say all is fine, I can’t bring myself to let them carry the burdens and dark evil I have inside I am a living breathing Jekyll and Hyde.
The thoughts are overwhelming and I can’t breathe I am drowning in my own uncertainty I have loss of all sense of self-awareness, as if I were in a mystical state, self-annihilation I have created these tidal waves wreaking havoc in my once calm sea. I try to keep from going under but no matter how hard I try the tears that once were keep filling up on the inside.
But wait there may be a glimmer of hope as I come up for air I can see it a light shining from far beyond, barely catching a glimpse of the miraculous event it ignites a fire in my soul something I have never felt before, I reach down deep inside and fight with all my might and try my hardest to swim towards the light. But then something happens, I am struck down by lighting unable to move and in excruciating pain I see the demon in disguise pointing down and it says stay were you for you are mine, there is no escape for this unimaginable place you have built you have chosen to block out the world and I have chosen to keep you from it. Your friends, your family and your kids, you are an emotionless being and you show no remorse. You have no will power, nor do you really believe in yourself, you motivate others but yet you can’t seem to motivate yourself. You are afraid of the unknown leading other to believe that you’re really trying but yet we both know what’s really going on. You haven’t tried to make anything of yourself knowing you have others depending on you; you chose to live in self-pity and doubt. And through your own doubts you alone have created your self-annihilation and you’re in so deep I’ll never let you out.
As I listen I know exactly what’s being said is the truth, so as I look into the light one more time, I close my eyes and let the current take me under and there I’ll stay until I can’t truly break free of me. I for a little while I was out of the darkness and into the light, but the shadow of me took me keep me from where I long to be, so back into the darkness I go until I can truly believe in me.
A day at my job…
January 12, 2012
ok soo I don’t have the best job in the world working for a hotel at a casino but trust me I have the best laughs ever though. the hotel guests do some of the craziest things ever. today started off kinda shitty because they always wanting me to do some off the wall shit that they clearly don’t pay me enough for but its cool because im the type of person that usually looks at it like hey you paying me so im a do it but not all the time though. so I guess my supervisor was like well since we never have a problem out of Edward let’s go ahead and let him have an easy day today. so they make me a houseman for the day. for those who don’t know i work in housekeeping where yes I do clean the guest rooms and make the beds but today I was a houseman. that’s the people who go in the rooms and strip the beds and take the trash out of the rooms. get the housekeepers the miscellaneous things that they need, so on and so forth and shit like that.
so I’m doing my work as usual and talking to the gra’s (guest room attendants) assigned to my floors. i like working with cool people you know the ones who don’t trip on the small shit. i had a lil chic about 23 or 24 years old on my floor, she cool but she sneaky. so I don’t say too much around her. then they have another chick that’s older than me, she’s somewhat like me because she’s blunt and straight to the point. then they had a mexican lady from el Salvador or somewhere around that area, shes quiet and barely speaks english but I think she be playing like she dont understand. then i had my favorite old black lady also!!! she a fool. she talk shit all day she crazier than a ole betsy bug…LOL today she was talkin about how when her man come out here she gonna fuck the hell outta him. i was aww man thats a lil too much info for me. i also had an indian lady who was musty as hell!!!! you could smell her down the hall. she been out here in america for years so i dont understand why she isnt americanized yet… but anyways
so at about 2:30 or so im done with my work and im just walking around talking on the phone with my wife (the shadow) checking on everybody seeing if they need anytthing. then as soon as i get off the phone with my wife i see a lady i met up at the hotel a few months ago. shes a cool lady in her 30’s with 2 kids and a man. he must have money or either he gamble a lot because they up there like every other week. she has a little girl whos about 2 or 3 and a son whos 5. i think the lil girl has down syndrome or something because she looks like it but i could be wrong. the lady was walking down the hall and she stopped and asked me to get her some extra sheets for her bed. i told her sure as we walked down the hall to the cart closest to her room i was asking her where her lil daughter was and she was like she was in the room sleeping. then i see a man come out of a room down the hall in front of us and hes all mad and shit like he fixing to kick some ass but little did i know that he was her man because i never seen him for the simple fact that he’s always on the boat. as we get closer to her room he’s like what the hell you bothering that man for we dont need nothing and she was like he’s cool he always takes care of me when we’re here. i usualy laugh and talk to the guests when im cleaning rooms to pass the time. some of them come pretty often and play. he looks at me like im fucking her or something so to down play the situation i just say it was nice talking to you and tell your daughter i said hello. then he tells her get your stupid ass in the room bitch and slaps the shit out of her while closing the door. he had the latch on the door so it didnt close all the way it bounced back open and all i saw and heard was her screaming back at him while swinging was dont you put your hands on me like that. i was stunned because she knocked the hell mout of him and all he did was stop and say you fucking him becuase you sitting there smiling all in his face while he talking to you. then they went back at it fighting like cats and dogs. i turned and walked away. i was gonna call security and tell them about it but i didnt want to have to be filling out all that paperwork and writing statements and shit like that.. besides she was kicking his ass anyways. by the time i got to the elevator she was coming out the room with her kids talking about calling the police on him. she yelled at me talking about dont call security because she had some rx pills on her so she was just gonna leave and i was like alright cool. i went back to doin my work and when he came out the room he was all beat up like on the cartoons. he had a black eye and his shirt was all torn. he had one shoe on pants all wrinkle. i wanted to laugh but i was like no because then he would have wanted to start with me and my day was going too good to get messed up behind somme bullshit like that.
so until next time…………
The Ego and The Shadow 
Written by The Shadow
on September 1, 2014
Leave a comment